28 YEARS

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. I HAVE HAD PLENTY UPS, DOWNS, DISAPPOINTMENTS, AND BLESSINGS, HOWEVER I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH I WOULD ACCOMPLISH IN AND OUT BY THE AGE 28. I NOW KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A DAUGHTER, SISTER, BEST FRIEND, CRUSH, TEAM MATE, ENEMY, LEADER, FOLLOWER, PROM DATE, DUMPED ON, LOOKED AT, LOVED, HELD, FEARFUL, AMAZED, CONFIDENT, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE, PUSHED TO THE EDGE, BROUGHT BACK AGAIN, WATCHER OF DEATH, REJOICER OF NEW LIFE, SAVED, CHURCH GOER, JESUS BELIEVER, WIFE, MOTHER, COMPANION, CLEANER, COOKER, CARETAKER, SINGER, DANCER, KISSER, BEGGER, HELPER, AND BREATHER. I AM NO DIFFERENT THEN ANYONE IN HOW I THINK MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE ELSE. I FEEL CURSED AND SPECIAL AT THE SAME TIME. THROUGH THE YEARS I HAVE LOST PEOPLE WHO MADE UP PART OF WHO I AM, SO SLOWLY I LOST BITS OF MYSELF. MY KIDS AND GOD HAS MADE NEW PARTS TO REPLACE THE LOST ONES, BUT SOMETIMES I STILL FEEL THE REJECTION MY BODY IS GIVING TO THE NEW MEMORIES TAKING PLACE OF THE OLD. WITH EACH KISS FROM MY DAUGHTERS I FEEL A PATCH BEING MADE OVER MY WOUNDS. WITH THAT BEING STATED, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS TAKEN ME 28 YEARS, I AM THE HAPPIEST NOW AND I KNOW THIS IS WHERE GOD INTENDED MY LIFE TO GO. MY MESSAGE I WANT TO GIVE TO OTHERS, MY VOICE SOME WOULD SAY, IS THAT I WANT HUMANS TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE PAINS IN LIFE ARE SO MUCH FOR FUTURE PLEASURES. THEY REALLY DO MOLD AND SHAPE YOU INTO A MORE LOVING, UNDERSTANDING, AND HUMANLY AWARE PERSON. I NOW KNOW THAT SOME DECISIONS PEOPLE SHUN OTHERS FOR MAY ONLY BE THE CHOICE THEY WERE GIVEN. THEIR EYES COULD NOT SEE ANOTHER PATH AT THAT TIME AND ONCE THEY FOLLOW THAT PATH AND LOOK BACK THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THEY GOT THERE BUT IN A MILLION ROADS THEY ALL LEAD BACK TO YOUR SOUL. THEY ALL MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU. THEY ALL PUSH YOU OR PULL YOU. THEY ARE ALL OPPOSITES DOING THE SAME THING. MAKING YOU A CREATION FOR GOD'S ETERNAL WORLD. TO BE ABLE TO LIVE PAST THE MOMENT OF EARTH INTO THE ETERNITY OF HEAVEN. SO THANK YOU GOD FOR MAKING THIS MY YEAR OF TRUE AWAKENING.